Tips on Surviving the Blacktop

I can't put my finger on it and I certainly can't remember the day or even the year that it happened. When did I cease to be able to conduct myself at a level comparable to other drivers on the road? Initially, I was in denial, I blamed others for my own transgressions but eventually, I had no choice but to face the truth.

It was time to stop pointing my middle fingers at other drivers. Instead, I had to figure out why I was the only one not hitting my brakes when there was an accident or a dazzling set of flashing lights off on the shoulder. Have I become so indifferent to the plight of others that slowing down in the left lane of a busy highway never even occurred to me? Now, its not that I have never stolen a glance at an accident or had a quick look over at a traffic stop. It's just that I seem to lack the necessary compassion and dedication to my fellow drivers to really step on the brake, to stop and smell the asphalt as it were.

I also seem to have a bit of a speeding problem it would seem. When I head out on the road, I have certain expectations, to at least travel at or above the posted limit for example. Sometimes I become upset and aggressive if the driver ahead of me doesn't feel the same way about those little white signs with black numbers as I do. I know, I need to be more understanding. I need to have more patience when brake lights flare as it drizzles or when the sun is too bright or something more interesting is happening on the sidewalk or in the oncoming lanes. I need to understand that sometimes it can be difficult to find a house number and one may need to come to a dead stop so that they can get a better look.

"Now, be patient," I tell myself when some of my neighbors feel the need to stop their cars in the middle of the road, blocking both directions of traffic. Their driver's windows side by side, rolled down so that they can have a chat since they lead busy lives and can't possibly find any other time or place to do so. Their time is probably more important than mine, so I'm trying, I really am.

I just feel that I have been left behind as the rules of the road have slowly evolved around me. When I started driving some seventeen years ago, the left lane was for passing. Not anymore. I do a lot of highway driving to and from work and I've learned that the left lane is where people drive when they believe that they are going quite fast enough and that if I would like to go faster, then I should pass them on the right. When I finally find some open road and proceed to signal out in to the right lane to do so, I always forget that the driver in the left lane still reserves the right to speed up at that very moment, forcing me in behind a transport truck that for some reason is going even slower in the middle lane and not the right hand lane which used to be the slow lane. The driver in the left lane is further permitted to slow down again once I've slammed on the brakes and gotten back into the old passing lane behind them. I'm still having trouble adjusting as it's all very confusing for a driver such as myself who's only just realized the shortcomings of my own automotive awareness.

For better or for worse, the climate of our highways and byways has changed and dinosaurs like me are just going to have to learn to follow suit. Gone are the days of waving someone in when they need to change lanes and past are the times when they wave you a little gesture of thanks back. Signal lights, like ashtrays, seem to be an option on most cars and no longer a standard feature since they are both scarcely used. Vanity mirrors though, come standard for both driver and passenger and they were put there for a reason. That reason is so that you can sleep in and put your makeup on while you drive to work so that you can arrive on time and be refreshed for your super-tough day.

Red lights mean stop, right? Wrong. They are an invitation to squeeze in a left-hand turn and stop signs only apply to other drivers. Right of way is a matter of opinion and four-way stops should always be treated with disregard. Please, if you don't already, make sure to take as much time as you need to make a left-hand turn even if the lane appears to be free of other cars because you can never be too safe. Especially if you have an advanced left turn signal, that's when you have to be on your highest alert. Realistically, only two or three cars should get to go through the advanced green anyway. Now, once you do finally venture out into that terrifying flow of traffic, be sure to accelerate as quickly as you can and do not under any circumstance make a left turn in to the left lane. Make sure, without checking, to swing wide and get directly into the right lane. Remember, you're important and those people trying to turn right will just have to wait their turn.

At the end of the day it's time to take what I've learned and do my best try to make my way home to see my family. However, despite what I now know about driving etiquette, I still find myself weaving through traffic to try and find a space where my car can maintain some semblance of forward motion. What this happens, I have to remind myself that its not all about me and where I have to go. The road is not mine alone, but is to be shared with others who have texts to send, sandwiches to eat and maps to read. Learning these new rules of the road is going to take time I'm sure, but please be patient with me when I honk my horn at you for trying to maneuver your vehicle into a space that is already occupied by my car. Keep in mind that I'm still learning. As so many of you know, obeying the rules of the road can be a real challenge, so I give my thanks in advance for your understanding and to those of you who already drive by this new set of guidelines, thank you for helping me understand the ways of the road.

Remember, driving, it's not a privilege, it's your right.